Editor's Note: We want to thank Zoe Nicholson for allowing us to publish a portion from her book Matri, Letters from the Mother available from Lune Soleil Press.
In 1995, my close friend, Laura was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer. For the next eighteen months she tried everything within her reach to get back to ease, to leave dis-ease, to stall leaving her life. It was unshakable. It was inevitable and the time arrived that all we could do was search for peace with this early and permanent parting.
There was so much I wanted to tell her. There were things that I knew were true but had no authority to tell her in my own voice. So I took a leap, a risk and wrote twelve letters to her from the voice that comforts me, that speaks to me, that lives in you and me. I spoke in her voice, The Divine Mother’s Voice.
Here are two of the letters ~
My Dearest, Darling Daughter,
Before you were born, before you took on your current body, before you entered into the world of thought, we made plans. We met and talked, as we do before all of your incarnations. Together we surveyed your progress, your path, your soul’s code and together we set in place the course of your next lifetime.
Though your life may feel complex, together we chose two or three lessons for you to learn. These lessons repeat many times, in many ways in one lifetime. They remain the essence of a single lifetime. Families are chosen, relationships are formed, circumstances are unveiled to lead you through your lessons and bring you eternal wisdom. Even the body you have chosen is part of our plan.
All the time I am watching, I am guiding, I am waiting. Many times you ask for help and I always hear you. I answer in the only way I can; I reveal myself in your heart. Many times you do not hear me and it is because you do not stop your thoughts and look to your heart. You do not put your words aside and feel me within your heart. I am there, I am always there.
As you journey through your life, you must know that all of the attractions you form, the aversions you feel, are at your own request. When you cross paths with people in need, you must give. When you are in need, you are meant to receive.
When the world begins to overwhelm you, it is because you are looking too far from your own path. Do not grieve for those you do not know. Do not suffer for those you cannot help. Do not take into your heart the millions around the world. Compassion is learned in the context of your individual life. Respond fully and openly to those who present themselves to you. They are the guardians and guideposts of your unique lessons.
As you find your life unfolding, you are at the service of your neighbors. And they are at your service. You must not waste your energy on imagined suffering. If you find yourself in great joy, it is yours. If you find yourself in great loneliness, it is yours. If you find yourself in great chaos, it is yours. If you find yourself in great peace, it is yours. Together, we designed your plan, your path, your particular way. The world is one grand and holy plan to bring you to the light.
m When the time comes for us to meet again, you will find your body is ready to rest. This may come without notice. This may come through disease. This may come in your sleep. This may come in your youth or your old age. This may be a surprise or the result of a long illness. Either way, anyway, it is the time for us to meet again.
In the inversion of your world, death has become deeply misunderstood. It is a time of great importance. It is not a time to fear. It is not a time to avoid or hide. You have built thousands of hospitals and isolating institutions to shroud this great transition. Science has tried to forestall our appointment, extending lives beyond their service. Souls are sitting in bodies that I am ready to meet. Do not avoid our reunion. Stop your thought and you will not be afraid, you will know when the time is right, and we will keep to our plan.
Death is part of life. You are meant to witness it. You are meant to watch, hold hands, wish others well. Death is a wonderful celebration that a soul has completed its journey. Death is a moment of joy, when a soul lets go of the body, steps out of the world of thought and rests in my arms. Do not hide it from the children. Do not hide it from each other, Do not hide it from yourself. Death is a completion of a cycle and the entrance to my world, the world of light.
When you arrive, we will rest, we will plan, we will laugh, we will love each other. There will be no judgment. There will be no guilt. There will only be joyous reunion. You will recognize me instantly because you are me and I am you.
My Dearest, Darling Daughter,
Imagine that your soul, your essence, your discrete divinity is a delicate, intricate and radiant lattice. Within this lattice is everything you are. It is not the people you know or the places you’ve been. It is the on-going record of everything you have collected and will collect on the way to Enlightenment.
This divine tapestry is unique to you. It is what never dies and is never born. It is infinity itself. It takes on a name, learns a language, thinks thoughts. Eventually, as an incarnation progresses, it even believes it has an identity. Looking to parents, to the tribe, to the world, it learns to believe. More importantly, it learns to forget.
All of this is not necessary. All of this is not my intention. According to my plan, you may know the truth. You may know who you are. You may remain in constant communication with me. You may be fully conscious of my presence in your many lives.
m I am the energy which radiates through your soul. I am called light, prana, shakti. I am the life which radiates through your world. I am the source of vibration. I am the source of radiance. I am always present. I am always with you.
Stop your thoughts and you will find me. Turn your attention away from the obvious, for I can never be obvious. Turn your attention away from the immediate, for I am infinite. Turn your attention away from this particular incarnation and you will remember our relationship.
m Before the formation of words, I am present. Outside of the torrent of thoughts, I am present. Waiting for you to create openings, I am present. Waiting to flood your world with light, I am present.
I will bring with me fresh air, clean water, rich forests, and most importantly peace. I will take the entire planet through the darkness and violence you accept as part of everyday living, and restore peace. The grace and mindfulness you practice will make room for me to infuse the world with peace.
These are two of the 12 letters published in the form of “Matri, Letters from the Mother.” Available from Lune Soleil Press.